Mr. Mutua should leave us alone

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So Ezekiel Mutua finally got himself a smart phone… How do I know that? He has a twitter handle that he keeps on misusing. I swear, check him out, @ezekielmutua, he even has MBS after his name. BTW, talking of Mutua, this is not the Alfred Mutua that we all know… that’s the cool one. The governor of Machakos who came up with cool stuff like “cobra squad” or “maendeleo chap chap” stuff. Damn! This guy is just awesome, I hope he is not related to the other one. I mean the Mutua with an ancient moustache… Kinda like the one Hitler went to hell with. I know Kalonzo dons one, but come on, he’s a politician, he’s allowed. Anyway, the Mutua I’m talking about is the one that couldn’t allow us watch nishike by Sauti Sol on YouTube but could allow a lot of American and Jamaican ass shaking on national TV in broad daylight. Lol. Not that it really matters but, come to think of it, why does he hate Kenyan ass shaking? Let that be a topic for our next discussion.
Honestly, most of us didn’t know that this guy even exists, leave alone the Kenya film classification board that he is the CEO. What do they really classify? What is the board mandated to do? As far as we are concerned, the Kenya film industry is down in the drains. Piracy is an adored profession, nobody gives a damn about the industry and that’s why we are left watching loads of predictable Nigerian witchcrafcy crap. So Mutua, if I were you, I’ll crawl back to the cave from which I came and wait for my monthly paycheck, instead of reminding Kenyans how rogue I really am. Imagine, we didn’t even know you get a paycheck from our exchequer, now we have to do some soul searching as to whether you really deserve that seat.
So, Mr. Mutua, finally got to read his job description… Awesome! Problem is, he is very selective in his reading. He only realized that he’s supposed to collect more money from an industry that he has worked so hard to kill. Where in the devils name do you think the money is coming from? Surely? When did reading the law selectively become a cool thing in this country. He wants audiovisual producers, the likes of Trey Juelz, Sammy Dee, Jay Blessing and the other guys hustling to earn an extra dollar to feed their families to pay licensing fee. I do agree with him on the payment part but, why not streamline the industry first and ensure that these guys get their cash before you ask for the fee?

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What I mean is, piracy takes almost 80% of what the film industry should be raking in, the film industry is the most neglected industry in the entire country, yet Mr. Mutua claims to be the CEO KFCB. I thought he should make sure that the rightful industry players get the cash first before asking for it? That’s being very reasonable, right? How come Mr. Mutua forgot to read the part of his job description that says that he should protect the industry, see? Now, he goes making media tours and and posting pics on his twitter handle of a section of the constitution that mandates him and his group to collect cash while intentionally ignoring the one that mandates him to curb piracy?
Between kfcb and mcsk lies the graves of our national creativity. Shouldn’t someone help curb this menace? Honestly, as it stands now, we won’t pay him a dime until he gets his group in order. Mr. Mutua, we know you wanna be the Kenyan “Magufuli” but Matiangi already took that title, so stop chasing after seasoned radio personalities like Maina Kageni and kingangi for personal issues you may be having, you won’t win. If you don’t like their show then switch your radio to another channel. Nowadays we have a lot of channels, we even have Crusades on radio, please listen to them and leave our radio presenters alone. Oh! And btw, leave our youtube videos alone too, you ain’t the YouTube cop. If it looks like a gay video and you don’t like it, then it definitely isn’t for you. Stop watching it. As for the licensing fee, the money we meant to pay you was robbed from us by the pirates along river road. Honestly, just go get it from them.

Bahama Breeze Factory

Nairobi, Kenya

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